Saturday, March 05, 2005

invest was over... sighz...can u realli believe it...4 yrs of my life jus when past like tht...the memories...frens...events...experiences...sighz....i dun even noe wad will i be doing next year at this time...sighz...i hope i get into ac...lol...seriously...talking isnt helping...i need to study...NIC TAN...cannot put off anymore...u keep telling urself tml den study...see how many tmls u can go...next thing u noe...it ll be chi paper...den practicals den engish paper....time realli flies....i wonder how it will be like...lokking back at myself 10 yrs later.... we had the parade...i was so nervous i tell u...got some person next to me....sure he is more competent...but berhanti has always been my achilles heel in footdrill.....so i screw up the 1st one but i told myself...put ursself together n do the next 2 berhantis n i prayed...i did fine...thank God... todays invest realli made me think...it wasnt as complete as i the programme sheet said but y look at the bad when theres a good side...would u rather talk to someones backside or talk to him n his face...obviously the better choice...so we could say tht....i realli thought as the whole thing went thru...i tot of 3 things

first was...i realised tht my scout leader was kinda mean...lol...when he jacked some scouts in front of the audience...yea....den i tot back to the 'u r dam funni incident' den i was like....even i as an outsider dun like the idea...much less the guy i m jacking....so yep...i tink its kina bad...mean n realli insensitive....i was like tht tht time...hiaz...probably one of the reasons for my plight

second was tht in everything we do...i tink we should forgive n forget....i mean....if lets say...u choose to hate this person....isnt it such a burden....dat everytime u see tht person...u hav to remind urself u hate him n tht ur supposed to ignore him...i tink its realli kinda silly... i mean i hav been hearing it everywhere...forgive...to not burden urself...forget so u dun let it hinder the forgiveness....its like the above...take the positive way to everything

lastly...i waited...it nvr came....kinda saw it coming but it still hurt me...i tink it hurt me more den i hav ever hurt him...sighz...let me tell u this....tht some ppl will nvr see or noe wad u hav done...dey might not even care...dey might noe n not recgonise it....but u noe u did ur best n God noes...so nvr let it put u down...God rewards....even if no one does...he will...maybe not ur frens...not ur teachers....not the canteen drink stall seller....and not the croackroach in ur cupboard but God recgonises wad u hav done...

i also tot i shud tink be4 i said something...i said to mr chay...'haiyah...last week wanted to come but u want to sleep den let u sleep lorh'...after tht i tot...oms...it realli is quite a bad thing...cus the way i put it was like....the help he provides to us is his obligation....so i felt quite bad after saying it....

i met liang wei today...den i tot...in life...certain frens u make...u may not see dem often...but dey r the ppl u noe....frens r everywhere...y tink of the ones u lost when dere r many u still hav....of course u dun go losing frens till u hav none left or sumthing like tht but jus to look at the positive side....i fell quite hurt ....quite down but looking at the positive side of things realli makes u feel better....see now i can manage a smile (=

|cowpoo| 11:41 PM|

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